The Only Rejoice

Only rejoicing factor in all this dillema is that my audience at the blog has reached about 111 from the previous 50 during the last 14 days. That has been the only silver lining in all this. I had Mcom exams and had a very miserable exams. The best and least I can expect from it is to pass it with minimum marks. The heat is unbearable, the climate sucks, feel as if I m in a desert, literally and virtually as well. The PC & internt is my only respite and resort out of all this. I am actually longing to get back to my work place and work indefinitely. I may seem a madman in a world full of people asking for a vacation or atleast a day or week off. But any one in my position would understand my point.

santosh

Alas watched a movie

Had a very productive day today. I don’t know how many of you would like a peak into my stupid life, but then whoever does want, I am opening full stream for you.

Nevertheless productive was meant to be sarcastic. Watched a movie in a multiplex, for the first time in my life without checking the price of the ticket. It actually sucks to watch a movie alone and that to with only 5 people in a screen with a capacity of over 300-400 people. And the most frustrating thing is the fact that someone rejects to come with you and to forget that person you stupidly go to watch the movie, and irony is that at the end of the movie, you actually equate with one of the stories/tracks in the movie.

The movie was Sirf-Life is greener on the other side, fancy name, well it ends there. It was the second movie I watched in a near empty theatre, the first one being Kaal, which I watched in the 7th week of release, but this one is the second day. Actually I wanted to watch Tashan, but it didn’t release in any multiplexes here in Ahmedabad, so out of curiosity and the lack of any other pleasing movies watch Sirf. A slow opening half, lackluster expressionless acting from the young debutante (cant remember his name), and some very ordinary plots, actually cant term it as a drama, mystery, comedy, thriller, nothing. The only glowing point was Kay Kay Menon and Manisha Koirala (for a change) Somehow I sat through the first half and was reasonably rewarded, when the plots thickens and the characters become interrelated and it becomes somewhat interesting. But even then the rating would be only 1 and a half stars.

As usual, I have a lot to write but am lack of time and resources. I know you wont know what that means, may be I will explain the same some time later.

santosh

Confused and Frustrated Me in INDIA

I write to vent out my frustration. Yes, I am frustrated with life, with myself, my adopted world, my original world, my surroundings, I am actually frustrated with absolutely everything. I write to vent out this feelings. O Reader, I didnt actually intend you to read this but then I have to be myself & I need to write. It gives me satisfaction, a satisfaction which I have not got anywhere else, not in the hard drinks I have taken, nor in the drums of beer I have consumed (before I stopped drinking) & probably will not get in any other activity (may be note even in a sexual relationship, but thats too early to comment becoz I m yet to experiene one :-D).

Anyways I returned to India after a gap of almost 2 yrs and was delighted to see my parents, relatives etc., but then I missed out my dozens of friends who seem to have left Ahmedabad and suddenly I m also feeling hollowed out and a stranger in a land which was proudly branded once as my Janmabhoomi and Karmabhoomi (hard words :D)and hence the delight seems to have been ended there itself.

Three major things had been planned for this trip of mine. Mcom exams, a house in Kerala and a non-disclosable third one, which was more of a personal stuff only confined to me.

Mcom exam preps have started but the pace is slow and it will be ending pretty soon coz the exams are less than a week away. The house building has been left upto my parents coz they are the ones who will be living there as for me I would certainly like to live the life of a roaming clown. The third one, till this time I seem to be failing in that task as far as I have been seeking it. But then I am very confused and dazed when it comes to that and feel as if I m searching something in this maze of life. Nevertheless, the third part had to be one of the important things, so the failure or success of it is set to mould much of me in my coming days.

But I m feeling much better after blurting out all that to my blog, thats what I mentioned earlier, the pleasure and satisfaction.

O ya tomorrow is Vishu, new year of Malayalees worldwide.

So WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY VISHU.

santos

Heading Home

Finally after more than 1 and a half year, I m heading back to India on a visit and vacation today.

India would hav changed much after all this time, especially Ahmedabad (my native town), which has seen a construction & retail boom (thats what I know for now, will write more about it through the vacation).

Well gotta go now. Had this urge to keep on writing but then I got some more work to finish before heading off to the Airport to catch the flight and heave off to what according to the Rest of the World would be a vacation, but only I can describe, how stressful it would be.

Happy Journey and a Cool (rather Hot, Ahd is touching mid 30s) holidays to me.

Cheers

About Me and Myselves

This has gotta be the frankest entry I have written till day. Recently got a suggestion that I was not being frank enough in life. Hence forth I thought may be its time that I should be writing something really related to my life and surrounding without any prejudice.


The matters surrounding my day to day life would be loosener and motivation to write more.

-As most of you must be knowing that I live in Uganda, which is not as volatile as the other African countries like Zimbambwe (has the world's highest inflationary rate 100,000% :-(. A pack of bread there costs about 1 million Zim $s), Botswana (had the highest HIV prevalance rate, but in the recent years have controlled it with great expertise), Kenya (has been in news lately) etc. etc. Compared to other places this is a far better place, but nevertheless it is Africa.


-On more personal front, I dont know I drive like a mad man and have a bike whose brakes are effectively loose. The driver of my car, can effectively be described as a crank case (I dont really try to argue with him on matters like religion, coz he has seemed to me as a fanatic).


-I m maintaining a blog which commands a combined audience of about 55 since the past 4 months.


-I have had crush on a girl for the last 6 years and haven't been able to tell her till late.


-I have been planning things but have failed to implement anything. I have reached such an extent with my planning that now I seem like the 80s Indian Govt planning commission (All words no action).


-I actually like to Himesh Reshamiya's songs and compositions and listen to him to unwind after a hard day. However repititive, he might be, however nasal he may sound, I like him.

-I have a fetish about cleanliness, for eg. I tend to clean each dish, utensils twice before using, even though it has just been washed (may be the gal I marry may be just opposite and that may change me :-D)

-I like loneliness and tend to walk alone for hours together on a stretch.

-People tell me that I have problems keeping commitments, but I dont think so :-).

-I like Friends but can't equate myself with any of the characters. I even like Scrubs and can compare myself with JD.

-I m fultoo mad about someone and can't get her outta my mind, can't thing of a moment when I dont think about her (I don't think this was relevant here but then on second thoughts, it was)

-I am pessimistic in my approach but am trying to change fast & hope will complete the transformation soon.

Its tough to write about one's ownself. Its very hard to look into our own life and try to write about it. But it gives you strength and insight into the things and facts about yourself.